In America
by Emelinee Baconinee Tortalinee
Summary: Joey leads Tristan and Melvin on their first cattle drive, but tragedy strikes when a crazed outlaw ambushes the group. AU parody, not to be taken seriously.


AN: This is just a strange little AU oneshot I had to write as part of some History homework a few months ago when we were learning about the American West. I decided to use YGOTAS characters-, which I don't own. Please leave a review to tell me what you thought!

The year is 1871. It's the last night of a cattle drive, and three cowboys stand with their horses on the outskirts of Abilene. Two carry pistols and the third a revolver. One of the cowboys lifts his stetson, and looks towards the town, where silhouettes are already gathered around the local saloons.

"We should hurry. The cattle's about three miles from here, and it looks like a storm's blowing in." The other two nod eagerly- they're both new to the job, fresh from Texas and keen to successfully finish their cattle drive. Their leader, an older man by the name of Joey Wheeler, is more experienced and knows of the outlaws common around Abilene. The recent death of Abilene's town marshall, Bill Hichok, has left the town with more problems than usual, although most outlaws know well enough to stick to the outskirts of Abilene where travelers and cowboys are common.

Joey had already lost three cows to outlaws, and is worried that a storm will be the perfect opportunity for an ambush. So, with a final backward glance towards the town of Abilene, the three men mount their horses and set off.

At first, their journey remains uneventful. The sky stays clear of storm clouds, and Joey begins to doubt the arrival of outlaws. He jokes with the other cowboys in his group- two men barely out of their teens calls Tristan and Melvin. Tristan wears his stetson proudly, holding his pistol as though it is a treasures possession. Melvin seems less impressed by the gear, and constantly gazes longingly back towards Abilene and the saloons he wished he could visit.

Then, suddenly, the storm hits. Rain lashes down, and in minutes all three cowboys are drenched.

"How much further 'till we reach the cattle?' Tristan sounds anxious, and Joey can't blame him. The storm will make it close to impossible to control the herd.

"We're almost there. You both got your lariats with you? They'll come in handy." Before Tristan or Melvin can answer, a bang echoes across the land.

"Was that a gunshot?" Joey feels dread at Melvin's words, and looks around anxiously.

"It was just thunder from the storm." He replied, and he is half convinced by his answer.

"No, it was definitely a gunshot. An _American_ gunshot." Comes an unfamiliar voice. Joey looks to his left and sees a stranger riding beside him. The man grins, and Joey only has time to notice the darkened glasses and the bandanna of the American flag before a second gunshot is heard. A second later, Tristan cries out in alarm as blood spurts from his side, and a moment later he lies dead in his horse's saddle.

"The name's Bandit Keith. And it sure is hard to see in a storm with these sunglasses on. But I'm an American cowboy, and Americans always wear sunglasses!" The man seems deranged and Joey knows they need to ignore him. There will be time to avenge Tristan later; for now he needs to reach the cattle before another cattle drive reached Abilene.

"Why did you shoot Tristan?" Melvin apparently has other ideas, and Joey shakes his head in warning as Melvin pulls out his pistol. They can't afford a fight right now; not with the cattle herd still waiting.

"Because he doesn't deserve to be a cowboy; he's not American!" Bandit Keith sounds enraged, and Joey urges his horse to move faster. He doesn't want Melvin's death on his hands, especially so soon after Tristan's. He also knows how ashamed the trail boss will be- he had gone hours earlier with the rest of their group after worries of outlaws stealing some of the cattle.

"He's a Texas boy through and through! Just because his mother was Canadian, doesn't mean-" Melvin is interrupted by a sharp intake of breath from Bandit Keith. Joey watches as the man hangs his stetson in shame- a gesture he recognizes from years of hung over cowboys expressing guilt at behaving so recklessly the day before a big cattle drive. Joey himself has sworn against drink, but the younger cowboys aren't as careful. Many of them simply prefer to waste all their wages in one big celebration the night after a cattle drive, regardless of the consequences.

"I just killed a fellow Canadian? My father would be ashamed! I've wanted all my life to be a cowboy; to be a true American! But I don't deserve to be an American cowboy in America!" Before either Joey or Melvin can react, Bandit Keith had ended his life. The two cowboys are simply left confused and shocked by Tristan and the outlaw's deaths, and it is several minutes before one speaks.

"We get the cattle. Then we try and work out what on Earth just happened." Joey decided, and Melvin nods in agreement. After a quick, regretful glance at the two bodies around them, the two cowboys don their stetsons and head for their final cattle drive.


End file.
